Putting your life on hold…

Why is it that I get so caught up in stuff that just puts my life on hold and stops me from living to the full?! 

I was so disappointed when my new buggy was ‘delivered’ but never actually delivered to my house a few days ago.  Amazon were great, sent a replacement first class at no cost, but because it’s being sent by the same courier I’ve been all anxious and apprehensive that the same thing is going to happen again.  It was due to arrive today (or before), so I stayed in all day with Ethan.

Staying indoors with an 18 month old all day is never going to be my first choice of how to spend a day.  What gets me, is that despite the replacement buggy reaching Leeds depot at 1.24.07am (yes, I have been obsessively checking the tracking status all day), it was never dispatched from the depot today and so I spent all day in the house waiting for nothing.

Obviously, the next day it’s likely to turn up will be Monday.  I’ve got an appointment in the morning, and the way I’ve been feeling about this whole palaver is that chances are the driver will turn up when I’m not in.  Or, the same thing will happen and they’ll leave it ‘at the back of your property’ when it’s not actually there at all.

I could remain stressed about this, I could try and change my day on Monday to accommodate this, I could constantly try and make sure it’s organised, efficient, and goes to plan… but actually, I have no control over the driver of the courier company and whether they deliver it at a certain time, on a certain day.  I have no control over whether they come to the correct house, I have no control over the buggy arriving sooner rather than later.  Worrying about it won’t add a single minute to my life.  In fact, putting my life on hold for something as trivial as this is just so silly.

“If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss…”

Matt 6:25a TM

I’m a fusser. 

I don’t want to be a fusser.

“…What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving.  People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works.  Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.  Don’t worry about missing out.  You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.  Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow…” 

Matt 6:31-34a TM

I worry about missing out. 

I don’t want to worry about what may or may not happen.

Jesus, thank you that your Word gives such light, such perspective, such clarity to all situations we find ourselves in.  I know that this is something I will have to revisit (probably on too many occasions for my liking), but right now, I choose to leave the buggy worries behind.  They are so not worth it!  Thank you that you know my worries, my concerns, my issues, my controlling nature and you still love me enough to take this into consideration in making my life GOOD.