Tuesday 22nd September:
I've been feeling particularly emotional recently - and whilst I know it is all pregnancy hormones flying around, feeling down and weepy takes its toll. As such, this lunch time I decided I needed to get away from my desk and have some time out. My plan was to go and buy a magazine, some comfort food (!) and sit away from people and just away.
As I was walking towards the newsagents, I walked past St Helen's Bishopsgate and remembered that it's Tuesday, so they have a lunchtime service (a hymn and 25 minute talk) starting at 1.00pm. It was five to one.
A thought popped into my head that rather than buy a rubbishy magazine I should go to the service. I didn't really want to. I didn't want to talk to people. However, the next thought that popped into my head was the podcast I'd listened to on the train this morning (first time I'd listened to anything on my ipod in a good 2-3 months) about God being our guide and how often we don't recognise that the thought in our minds is actually God speaking. I then remembered Simon's talk about the Holy Spirit from Sunday and was convinced this was a Spirit prompting.
Once I'd discovered that this was a Spirit-God in action-suggestion I still had a choice whether to turn around and go and get a magazine or go to the service. I still didn't want to go to the service, but felt that I had a choice to obey the process of thoughts that had popped into my mind or disobey.
So I went.
The hymn was one I'd never heard of, the words are below. I could've burst into tears (not forgetting my emotional, weepy state currently) there and then. I didn't, thankfully. But instead I stayed and the talk was the first in a new series called "The manifesto for change" and was all about happiness - the logic of happiness, the profile of the happy and the experience of the happiness - based on the beattitudes and Luke 6:16-26.
The combination of that along with the words of the hymn reminded me in the midst of the city of London that I'm not alone, Jesus cares about my pregnancy hormones, and I am blessed because I am poor.
Thought I'd share. Words of the song are below:
I have a shelter in the storm,
when troubles pour upon me.
Though fears are rising like a flood,
my soul can rest securely.
O Jesus, I will hide in you,
my place of peace and solace.
No trial is deeper than your love
that comforts all my sorrows.
I have a shelter in the storm,
when all my sins accuse me.
Though justice charges me with guilt,
your grace will not refuse me.
O Jesus, I will hide in you,
who bore my condemnation.
I find my refuge in your wounds,
for there I find salvation.
I have a shelter in the storm,
when constant winds would break me.
For in my weakness I have learned
your strength will not forsake me.
O Jesus, I will hide in you,
the one who bears my burdens.
With faithful hands that cannot fail,
you'll bring me home to Heaven.
