Rejected

I’m pretty sure we all share a common experience and feeling at some point in our lives and that’s rejection.  And it sucks.  It feels horrible.  No one wants to be rejected, on the outside, dismissed as inadequate or unacceptable.  And it starts really early on - the child in the playground with no one to play with, the last person to be picked for the sports team.  

I can remember, aged 11, being marched out of my school classroom by a group of girls who needed to ‘address’ my uniform.  Jumper lifted, skirt rolled up about 10 times and then I was in.  Now that my image had been altered, I was deemed acceptable.  I was now allowed to sit with them at lunch.  I was suddenly invited to parties and included… and all because my skirt needed to be shorter.  Maybe it’s not a childhood experience of rejection.  Maybe it’s more along the lines of:

- turned down time after time for job interviews

- being on the receiving end of a relationship break up

- not speaking the local language

- being the only guy in the room that doesn’t like sport

- being the single parent

- offering to serve and being ‘politely’ turned down

- being the unmarried one

- not having enough money to enter the social circle

- being the divorcee…

Whatever it is, at some time in our lives, we experience rejection.  

The lies of rejection are many.  Rejection tells us that we are unlovable, unwanted, unacceptable.  Rejection speaks of being despised, abandoned and forgotten.  It says you are denied, inadequate and kept out.  Rejection says you are forsaken.  

Unfortunately, the church is not immune from rejection.  Because it’s made up of people.  People who are broken and hurt, and hurt people hurt people, whether intentionally and not.  But what do we do when we experience rejection in church?  

The Bible has many examples of people who were rejected.  To name a few - Moses was initially rejected by the Israelites, Jephthah was rejected for being the son of a prostitute, Noah was mocked by the whole world, Stephen was rejected for speaking truth, Job’s wife spurned and left him in his darkest hour of need.  And then there’s Leah.

Leah was rejected and deemed ‘lesser’ than her sister because she had “soft” eyes! (Genesis 29:17)  The only way her father believed she would be married was to trick someone into sleeping with her.  Once married, her husband didn’t want her, he loved her sister “much more than Leah”.  Leah was someone who understood what it felt like to be rejected, unwanted, despised.  She had to live in that place of rejection day in and day out.  She strove for affection and acceptance from her spouse but was constantly kept at a distance.  And born out of all the rejection and pain was then generational rejection in Joseph’s rejection by his brothers (a whole other story)!   

Rejection happens to everyone.  Everyone experiences rejection in some way, some form, at some point in their lives.

Even Jesus compassionately empathises.  In Him, we have a friend who understands because “he faced all of the same testings we do” (Hebrews 4:15).  “He was despised and rejected” (Isaiah 53:3), “He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognise him.  He came to his own people, and even they rejected him.” (John 1:10-11).  He faced the ultimate rejection on the cross, crying out to God, “why have you abandoned me?” (Matthew 27:46) Jesus understands the pain of rejection.  He knows the sting of betrayal.  He felt the wounds of discord.  

Because he endured it.  He endured it so that the lies of rejection could be dealt with once and for all.

Because actually, God is all about acceptance.  He is all about welcome.  When the world says you are unlovable, God says you are “his own special treasure” (Deuteronomy 7:6) and that he will love “you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3).  When rejection says you are unwanted, God says you are “set apart” (Deuteronomy 14:2) and “are a chosen people” (1 Peter 2:9).  God does not show favouritism (Romans 2:11) with some ‘rating’ as better than others.  “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1).  

Reject the lies of rejection and instead know that you are totally loved (Romans 8:38-39), that God is for you (Romans 8:31), that you are included in his family, chosen and appointed (John 15:16).  You are not forsaken (Psalm 94:14), not forgotten (Isaiah 49:15), a member - included - of God’s house (Ephesians 2:19-22).  You are beautiful (Psalm 139:4), delighted in and rejoiced over (Zephaniah 3:17).  Know too that you are cared for (1 Peter 5:7) and that God hears you: “The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help.  He rescues them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” (Psalm 34:17-18)  

Don’t listen to the lies of rejection.  Whether they are labels others have given you or ones you have claimed for yourself.  Don’t dwell in that place.  Choose instead to peel them off and listen to the truth of the Father.  Choose instead to rise up and serve elsewhere, choose instead to keep applying for those jobs, choose to bestow your friendship on those who need it… In your feeling of rejection and hurt, choose to reach out and accept and include others.

We may well have been rejected by others.  But we are never rejected by God.  Choose His way.      

Photo by Moritz Schumacher on Unsplash

He Stands

I am constantly on the lookout for the promises of God in the Bible and I have a Bible solely for that purpose so I can mark them out.  Each promise then gets turned into an instagram picture for @promiseseeker.  I truly believe that if we get to grips with God’s promises our lives will look hugely different - we will be free, confident in His ability rather than our own.  Currently, I’m working through Matthew.  This morning I came across, “the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” (Matthew 24:13)

As a family we started talking about what it means to stand firm.  What it means to be unshakable, immovable when things are trying to topple you over.  When the stuff of life comes at you with force leaving you feeling wobbly or uncertain.  We talked about how do we stand firm?  How do we make ourselves solid?  What happens in a rugby game when someone comes to tackle you?  How do you stand firm?  We even made up actions to help us think about and remember this verse.

And then later today, I come across these two verses:

But the LORD stands beside me like a great warrior.

Jeremiah 20:11

and

In his unfailing love, my God will stand with me. 

Psalm 59:10

How great is that?!  When we are feeling weak, when we’re not feeling strong enough to have a firm stance, the idea of standing firm feels a little bit out of reach.  A little bit too difficult.  A little bit beyond our capabilities.  We’re told in Ephesians that to stand firm we need to put on the armour of God.  Again, our responsibility, our duty.  But what if even that feels too tricky?  What if standing itself feels too much?

It reminds me of the passage in Exodus where the Israelites are under attack from the Amalekite army.  All the while that Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but when he lowered his hands, the Amalekites would start to win.  The Good News Translation says that, “When Moses’ arms grew tired, Aaron and Hur brought a stone for him to sit on, while they stood beside him and held up his arm, holding them steady until the sun went down.” (Exodus 17:12 GNT, my emphasis).

Sometimes we need people to stand alongside us in order for us to win the battle we’re facing.  Sometimes we need someone to stand with us in order to remain firm in our stance.  But what if today you look around and aren’t sure who those people could be?  Then take heart.  Because, “in his unfailing love, my God will stand” with you, just as he stands with me.  He stands beside us “like a great warrior”.  

So to be saved, we don’t have to stand firm alone.  We were never meant to.  Sometimes God sends people like Aaron and Hur to stand beside us as God with skin.  But always, God stands with us.  Stephen’s vision ahead of his death saw Jesus “standing at the right hand of God” (Acts 7:56).  Whenever the Bible talks about Jesus in heaven he is either ‘at’ God’s side or sitting at His side.  I like to think that in Stephen’s greatest moment of need, Jesus stood up.  He stood alongside him, stood up to be seen and to support Stephen. Jesus stood up to welcome him home.  

And I think Jesus wants to do that for you too.  The cross was all about standing for you.  All about standing beside you as a result of his unfailing love.  All about standing like a great warrior so you didn’t have to.  Often we think of the cross as the place where Jesus lay down his life.  I think we can also consider it as the place He stood up.  Stood up to death.  Stood up to all the devil’s plans to divide, destroy and kill.  Stood up to the things that are contrary to the Kingdom of God.  

So the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.  Jesus, in his death, stood up for you.  He stands for you.  You don’t need to be firm in your own strength, alone and isolated.  You can stand firm with the cross as your foundation.  Stand firm relying on the stand that Jesus took.  He is afterall the one who does the saving so we may as well rely on his standing too.  I’m so grateful that in his unfailing love he stands beside us.  No matter what you’re facing.  No matter what is shaking your foundations.  No matter what terrifies you.  No matter what.  He stands.

Photo by Meg Kannan on Unsplash